Monday, 8 June 2015

Body Image During Pregnancy

So this will be my first pregnancy-related post. :)

I had planned to talk about my first trimester, but this topic "body image during pregnancy" is so much more on my mind that I decided to post this first.

I've achieved quite a lot over the course of the last year, but what didn't happen was me getting in shape.

To be honest, I didn't expect to get pregnant that quickly, because despite what the media tells you many women have a hard time conceiving.

I have the Haschimoto syndrome which is a chronic inflammation of the thyroid and this little body part is extremely important when you're trying to get pregnant. It can take ages to get pregnant with an unbalanced thyroid and therefore I sorta expected that it might take even years to conceive. Guess my surprise when my husband knocked me up in our first month trying. *gg*

So there I was, far away from the right body mass index knowing that I would gain even more over the next 9 months. It worried me a lot and it still does. I'm now 20 weeks pregnant, so exactly half-time (yay!) and the belly really starts to grow now. :)

And you have all these pictures surrounding you on Instagram of beautiful women and their round but still even bellies. And even though I knew a curvy body wouldn't look that awesome pregnant I sorta expected my belly to look the same.

I have a greek statue kinda body so my belly was never "the" problem area, but I still have some fat there. And while all those pretty girls have that distinct firm, round belly which looks like she swallowed a watermelon, mine looks a little wobbly. And I'm not gonna lie, it makes me sad.

By now it's clear that I'm pregnant, but the last two months I could have just been fat and I looked with envy at those girls whose figure made it clear from month 2 there's a baby inside and not an accumulation of donuts.

I'm so grateful for having been able to conceive so effortlessly and I'm incredible happy about my pregnancy, but I still have to remind myself every day that I can't change the way I look right now and that it's okay. All that matters right now is giving our miracle what it needs and bringing it healthy into this world, but I would be lying to say it's easy to look in the mirror.

I look at my face that gets rounder each month and feel my clothes getting too tight for comfort and while others snap pics of their belly constantly I've been avoiding it until now.

So this is what's floating around in my head. Nobody said anything and my husband loves my belly, but that voice in my head that constantly finds something to criticize is loud enough.

I'm posting this, because I know I'm not the only one with that voice and it's always nice to know you're not alone. :)


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