Saturday, 22 March 2014

"The Fault In Our Stars" and what it thaught me

This is a very personal post, but one I want to put out there in the world for everyone to read. So, if you want to know my story. Go ahead.

I've heard a lot about this book "The Fault In Our Stars" by John Green and since I was looking for a good new book I bought it two days ago.

I try not to spoil anything, most of you will know it anyway, it's about two cancer kids who fall in love. It's such an incredible book, I basically cried the last 100 pages.

I just finished it and it reminded me of so much I had forgotten. I've been struggling with my life now for quite a while, but today I realized how lucky I am and how immensly grateful I am for my life. And I wanna talk about it, tell my story.

I have three chronical illnesses. Epilepsy, depression and a thyroid disfunction. They are a part of me and I'm not ashamed of them, so I don't care who knows that I have these illnesses.

Besides that I spend two years after my 18th birthday mostly in hospital, in a wheelchair and on crutches, cause parts of my bones on my ankles broke and ruined the cartilage. I had two cartilage transplants, one on each ankle and had to learn thrice to walk again. All in all I had four operations, because of that.

I have to take a lot of medicine each day to stay "healthy", although I know I will never be healthy. I will always be sick, but my illnesses are not terminal. I can live a fairly normal life.

This book reminded me of how lucky I am to be able to live my life. To only have to take some pills to keep my brain from disfunctioning and giving me a seizure that could be lethal (worst case scenario) and that stabilize that serotonin disfunction that might crush me and push me into a darkness I can't come back from.

I am so grateful for this medication that allows me to be as close to health as possible. For having a husband that loves me, even though it can be tough and for a loving family. I am grateful for that house we live in and our pets that give us joy.

I just want the world to know that. That I truly am able to see again how lucky I am and that I appreciate my life and don't want it to stop. Thanks to that fictional book about a story that sure happened in reality as well, I feel better than I have in a long time.


1 comment:

Madame Bonaparte said...

Oh wow, da hast du aber gesundheitstechnisch echt die Arschkarte gezogen :(

Aber ja, das Buch ist wirklich toll, ich habs schon zweimal gelesen und beide Male Rotz und Wasser geheult ^^
Und im Sommer kommt ja der Film dazu raus- ich werd mit ner Tempobox ins Kino gehen, ich heul schon beim Trailer. ;)